UU 3rd Principle
Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations
December 9, 2001
Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Midland
Jane Thickstun, Celebrant

Reading: Today’s reading is from a play by Frances Goodrich and Albert Hackett, called "The Diary of Anne Frank", based on the diary of the Jewish girl’s time in hiding in Amsterdam.

ANNE: (Looking up through skylight.) Look, Peter, the sky. What a lovely day.

PETER: (Barely lifting his face.) I’ve just gone crazy. I think if something doesn’t happen soon . . . if we don’t get out of here . . . I can’t stand much more of it!

ANNE: (Softly) I wish you had a religion, Peter.

PETER: (Bitterly, as he rolls over) No, thanks. Not me.

ANNE: Oh, I don’t mean you have to be Orthodox . . . or believe in heaven and hell and purgatory and things. . . . I just mean some religion . . . it doesn’t matter what. Just to believe in something! When I think of all that’s out there . . . the trees . . . and flowers . . . and seagulls . . . when I think of the dearness of you, Peter . . . and the goodness of the people we know . . . Mr. Kraler, Miep, Dirk, the vegetable man, all risking their lives for us every day . . . When I think of these good things, I’m not afraid any more . . . I find myself, and God, and I . . .

PETER: (Impatiently, as he gets to his feet.) That’s fine! But when I begin to think, I get mad! Look at us, hiding out for two years. Not able to move! Caught here like . . . waiting for them to come and get us . . . and all for what?

ANNE: (Rises and goes to him.) We’re not the only people that’ve had to suffer. There’ve always been people that’ve had to . . . sometimes one race . . . sometimes another . . . and yet . . .

PETER: (Sitting on upstage end of bed) That doesn’t make me feel any better!

ANNE: I know it’s terrible, trying to have any faith . . . when people are doing such horrible . . . (Gently lifting his face) but you now what I sometimes think? I think the world may be going through a phase, the way I was with Mother. It’ll pass, maybe not for hundreds of years, but some day . . . I still believe, in spite of everything, that people are really good at heart.

(From A Call to Character, ed. by Colin Greer and Herbert Kohl, p. 292-293)

Sermon

In the third principle of the Unitarian Universalist Association, we covenant to affirm and promote: Acceptance of one another and encouragement to spiritual growth in our congregations. That doesn’t seem like such a tough thing, does it? But what does it really mean?

We Unitarian Universalists are noted for our theological diversity. The diversity of religious beliefs flows from our belief in the authority of individual conscience in religious matters. With such diversity, acceptance is necessary to being in community together. But it is not an easy thing. Ever since the Unitarians split from their Trinitarian brethren, there has been tension within the denomination over theological belief. First we had theists at odds with their more Christian brethren. Then, in the 1900s we had the theist-humanist controversy. Today it is opening up wide, so that we have about as many theological positions as we have people in the pews. But are all these positions equally valid? That is something we sometimes find hard to accept. Though we live in a post-modern world, where different experience can lead to different truth, we still like to think there is some kind of absolute truth that is the same for everyone. It can’t all be relative, can it? And if I think I have discovered the truth, and you believe something different, then you must be wrong. It may be especially hard to accept somebody believing that very thing which we have rejected in our own search for truth and meaning.

We recently had a speaker here, Dan Barker, who used to be an evangelical preacher and has become an atheist. Around the same time he was speaking here, there was somebody else in town speaking about how he had been an atheist and is now a Christian. Sometimes I think it is only the movement that matters, that if we can move from wherever it was we started, then we have grown spiritually.

Is acceptance mere tolerance? I’d say it is at least that. But sometimes the best we can do is simply to agree to disagree. Unitarians have a proud history of tolerating different beliefs. Francis David was the preacher in Reformation Transylvania who converted the king to Unitarianism. David said, "You need not think alike to love alike." (Singing the Living Tradition, #566) And King John Sigismund, the only Unitarian king in history, issued in 1558 the Edict of Religious Toleration, a first in the western world, and an Act of Religious Tolerance and Freedom of Conscience, which stated that "no one shall be reviled for their religion by anyone . . ." (With Purpose and Principle, p. 46)

The kind of acceptance I’ve been talking about flows from our 4^th Principle - the free and responsible search for truth and meaning that is grounded in our insistence on the authority of individual conscience in religious matters. But there is a deeper level of acceptance that flows from our 1^st Principle. In his book on Our Seven Principles, Ken Collier says, "Acceptance flows out of the belief in the inherent worth and dignity of all. If I truly understand deeply within my heart that the worth and dignity that defines me and makes me human dwells as fully within your heart as it does in mine, then I will not simply put up with you. I will also recognize that my deepening as a human being requires your deepening. Acceptance, in the sense of our Principles, is not of behavior or ideas; it is of people in their basic humanity, their dignity and worth, their needs for companionship, growth, love, compassion, and justice." (p. 45)

Such acceptance is called for beyond the boundaries of our congregations and in far more than theological matters. The acceptance that flows from our 1^st Principle calls us to accept others who differ from us in their sex, in their race, in their physical and mental abilities, in their sexual orientation and their gender identification, and in their income or education levels, to name a few. It also calls us to accept those whose politics differ from our own. It even means accepting those who aren’t able to be as accepting as we feel we are.

So how do we become more accepting? The first step, and the hardest, is accepting ourselves. This is not something we can achieve in an afternoon. It is a lifelong task. It may come easier to some than to others depending on how well you were accepted as an infant and a child. But the more we can accept ourselves, the better we are able to accept others. The paradox is that the more we are accepted, just as we are, the more we are able to change. Related to this is the fact that the more we accept others, the more we grow spiritually. Exercising acceptance of others is a means to spiritual growth. Anne Frank finds the means to withstand her ordeal in her faith that affirms human nature in spite of what she sees it is capable of.

Carolyn Owen-Towle, a UU minister in San Diego, says, "If acceptance affirms us as we are, encouragement pushes us toward whom we might become." (Carolyn Owen-Towle, from With Principle and Purpose, ed. Edward Frost, p. 49) Spiritual growth is nothing more–and nothing less–than becoming more whole, more at peace, more alive. It is a direction we all want to move in, however you want to define it. Sometimes it feels too hard, and all we want to do is rot in front of the TV until the day we die. That’s when we need some encouragement from our fellow Unitarian Universalists. Accepting each other promotes the feeling of safety that allows us to grow and change. That is why the acceptance is so key. This is really about why we gather in religious community even when we have no common doctrine.

How can we encourage each other to spiritual growth? Carolyn Owen-Towle says, "Think of yourself as a mirror reflecting someone’s image back to them. What do you see in them that you can affirm? Look again. It may not be apparent at first. When you notice a strength, an accomplishment, an insight–tell them, as accurately as you can. That way they will know you are being authentic, and they can accept what you have given them. We cannot run around encouraging everyone all the time. But neither should we miss an opportunity when we see it." (p. 50)

The most important thing we can do to encourage the spiritual growth of others as well as ourselves is to listen. Listen to someone else without judging, without thinking about what you will say, without any intent to respond, just taking it in. Listen, and when the other is done, paraphrase back to them what you have just heard. It is remarkable the effect this can have on another. If you have a hard time articulating your thoughts, talk about it Find an appropriate and safe situation and talk about your spiritual journey. Maybe pair up with one who needs to learn how to listen better, just so long as you don’t fall into what comes easiest for you both. Be supportive and accepting, affirm each other. Another good way to encourage the spiritual growth of others in our congregation would be to lead an adult RE class!

It doesn’t do any good to accept others if they don’t know you accept them. This congregation has done a lot of work toward understanding and accepting gays, lesbians, bisexuals, and transgendered people, and last May by a unanimous congregational vote became a Welcoming Congregation. This means the congregation as a whole officially welcomes these populations. After the vote, a press release was sent to the Midland Daily News, which unfortunately got cut and revised to the point of making no real statement. So our Welcoming Congregation committee has submitted the information as an advertisement. It ran on Sunday, November 25^th and will run one more time before Christmas. The ad has been noticed. I have received a number of very positive comments from people in the community. Maybe some of you have too, and maybe you have received comments that are not so positive. In case you do, it might help to be fortified with an extra jolt of understanding, which usually leads to greater acceptance. So we have invited Jay and Leisa Crane here today to share their story, their experience. I invite you to listen, and may you grow spiritually in the process!

The Unitarian Universalist Fellowship of Midland is recognized by the Unitarian Universalist Association as a Welcoming Congregation. We welcome, affirm, promote and celebrate the full participation of all persons in all of our activities without regard to age, gender, sexual orientation, race or any other such category of exclusion.

Please feel free to contact us with any feedback, corrections or questions at jaham@delta.edu